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It seemed like a horrible match. The unfortunate thing is, he actually succeeded in guilting me into a second date. If only you would just give that nice guy a chance, popular wisdom goes, he might surprise you.

But even if someone actually is nice, you may not want to date him for a number of reasons: Being nice is not a ticket to a date with a person of your choice. This is a widespread stereotype: The belief that women like jerks contains hints of misogyny because it stems from the stereotype that just a nice guy lookin want to be dominated and controlled.

Human beings are not rewards for kindness.

Sometimes, nice people struggle with their love lives. Sometimes, not-so-nice people have an easier time.

This may seem unfair, but the whole concept of fairness is irrelevant when personal choices are concerned. Once again, pop culture reinforces this belief.

Viewers are supposed to think it was dense of the woman to not realize that the love she sought was in front jst her the whole time. Stories of friends beautiful housewives wants sex Spartanburg get together can be sweet, and unrequited just a nice guy lookin on friends are always painful, but there are plenty of valid reasons not to date a friend.

Your friendship is not a consolation prize — and the idea of being relegated to friend status hinges on the notion that he was expecting more in just a nice guy lookin first place. And his friendship is not a bargaining token.

It should be given freely without expecting anything in return except just a nice guy lookin friendship. Beautiful couples wants orgasm New Hampshire irony is that many of them use this supposed caring to manipulate women into sex or dating.

Our culture over-classifies men as nice guys, and the effects of this undue admiration are dangerous. Our low standards for men manifest in a number of ways: In addition to applauding men for taking on parenting duties that are expected of women, we praise just a nice guy lookin for sexual conduct that should be mandatory, not praiseworthy.

I remember seeing a movie called Fish Tank with a guy I was dating in college.

In one scene, the main character — a teenage girl — was partially undressed and asleep. I was confused. I learned this later that day, when we women want sex Chandler Arizona hanging out in my room. After I thought that was settled, I saw a lascivious grin on his face and realized he had unbuttoned my shirt without me noticing.

After I pulled away, he apologized. It made sense, really. In Animal House just a nice guy lookin, when a girl is about to sleep with one of the protagonists but then passes out drunk, a devil and angel appear on his shoulder. The implication: Not raping is angelic. Another implication: It takes just a nice guy lookin not to rape.

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Men who praise other men for not raping hold an attitude that may actually make them more likely iust be sexually abusive: When we praise men for practicing basic codes of conduct like consent, we make failure to adhere to these standards the norm.

He may simply complain about a dearth of messages in his OKCupid inbox, but he could also be capable of worse. I learned this the hard way.

If he makes you feel like you owe him just a nice guy lookin, the shame is just a nice guy lookin him, not you.

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He will demand no explanation for your decision not to date or sleep with him because he respects your autonomy. And when he is desired, your desire will be genuine, not something forced out of you by manipulative lies.

You can follow her on Twitter suzannahweiss. All these reasons are valid. You do not have to be an equal-opportunity dater.

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